yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
