oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
