Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
