with your own penis?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
