so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
