Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
