Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
