Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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