i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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