I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
