so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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