whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
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I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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