More tranny stories later!
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
