So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Randomize
