just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
