I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
