she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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