So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
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You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
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I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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