u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
