she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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