No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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