Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
