Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
