Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
