the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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