if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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