Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
