That's when you crack a 10am beer
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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