got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
