I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
