it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Last time i carry you out of a forest
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
