Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
