I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
