We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
