i need an iv and a liver transplant
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I have aggressive nipples.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Randomize
