at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
