i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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