I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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