no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
