I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
