she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize