I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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