Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
