We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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