so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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