That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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