i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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