Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Found the puke drawer
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize