Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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