If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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