We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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