Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
