It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
