That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
