when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize