i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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