Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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