In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
