Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
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we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
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I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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