then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
