At least make sure they are 18
Why
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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