I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
They took my balls.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
