i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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