What did we do last night that was yellow?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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