Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
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He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
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Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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