There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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