I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I AM VODKA MAN
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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