I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
